‘Tis the season for re-watching the classics. My hands-down favorite is The Holiday.
Yes, it’s a bit sugary, and the timeline makes zero sense. But hidden inside the rom-com fluff is a profound lesson on professional Ownership and Identity.
It happens in the scene where Arthur Abbott, the elderly Oscar-winning screenwriter, looks at Iris (Kate Winslet) and delivers a line that stops me in my tracks every time:
“Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason, you’re behaving like the best friend.”
I see so many brilliant, ambitious, talented women falling into the “Best Friend” role.
The Best Friend is reliable. She supports the main character. She fixes the scrapes, creates the opportunities for others, and is indispensable to the plot, but never the one on the poster.
If you slip into that role too often, you eventually become the background character in your own career story.
The Leading Lady Mandate
To build your Iconic Stage, you have to stop behaving like a supporting character.
A Leading Lady—an Iconic Woman—is the centre of the action. She drives the plot.
Based on the classic Hollywood definition, here is what that shift looks like practically:
An Iconic Leading Lady …
1. Has Gumption. Arthur defines “gumption” as the courage and get-up-and-go that makes difficult things possible. It is a mix of grit and common sense. It means having the courage to cut off what isn’t serving you (like a toxic boss or a dead-end project) and standing up for your value.
2. Is Unapologetic. A Leading Lady knows exactly who she is. She doesn’t compare her blooper reel to someone else’s highlight reel. Whether she is an introvert or an extrovert, analytical or artistic, she amplifies those traits rather than smoothing them out to “fit in”.
3. Does Not Settle. Settling means accepting something that is not quite what you wanted because it feels “safer” or “more practical”.
We do this constantly in our careers. You might recognise yourself in one of these:
The Job That Pays the Bills but Kills the Soul: You stay for the “golden handcuffs” or the security, even though the work leaves you feeling stuck, frustrated, or unfulfilled.
A Seat Without a Voice: You have the title and the place at the table, but you hold back your true opinions to keep the peace, becoming a “contributor” rather than a “disruptor”.
A Promotion ‘Next Year’: You agree to do the work of the next level now, on the vague promise that the title and pay will catch up later.
A leading lady knows what she wants and is single-minded about making it happen.
Your “Main Character” Assignment This Week
In the movie, the characters break their self-destructive cycles by doing something totally unexpected and out of character.
If you feel stuck in a supporting role, you need to create your own plot twist.
Here is your challenge: Identify one area where you are currently “over-functioning” for others—where you are fixing, smoothing over, or picking up slack that isn’t yours.
This week, simply don’t do it.
For example, don’t…
- Take on that extra ‘not your job’ project unless you get the full credit
- Do the prep work that makes someone else look like the star.
- Say “yes” to the meeting that drains your energy.
- Put up with being side-lined in the board room
Use that reclaimed energy to do one thing solely for your plot line—whether that’s working on your own visibility, planning your next career move, or insisting you get the extra resource you need.
The Bottom Line is…
No one else is going to cast you as the star. You have to cast yourself.
Waiting for someone to notice your hard work and give you a promotion is “Best Friend” energy. It is relying on the Career Ladder.
Building your Iconic Stage is different. It means deciding that you are the main event right now. When you operate with the audacity of a Leading Lady—owning your narrative, setting your boundaries, and amplifying your unique edge—you stop chasing the spotlight and start becoming the source of it.
The movie of your life deserves a Leading Lady, so don’t let yourself slip into a supporting role too often.
Are you ready? Set. ACTION!
All my best,
Nichola
P.S. If you’re finding The Iconic Edge valuable, please forward this to another ambitious woman who needs to hear it. We rise together.
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