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Episode #111
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If you've ever dared to dream big, chances are you've met at least one naysayer. You know those people who intentionally or not, question your decisions, throw doubt on your talents and dampen your excitement and confidence in changing something significant in your life.
Navigating through this scepticism can feel like a challenge, but let me tell you this, you do possess the power and resilience to handle any negativity or doubt you encounter. With the right approach, you can handle these situations with grace, style, and a smile and use your doubts as a source of motivation and drive.
TYPES OF NAYSAYER
Sceptical Realists: These people often question the feasibility of starting your own business. They emphasise the risks and challenges over the potential rewards, although they actually don't really know much about it, just what ‘they’ve heard’. Their constant ‘just trying to be helpful’ but ultimately negative approach can lead you to second-guess your decisions, causing you to feel overwhelmed and doubtful about your capabilities. The consequence is that you might start seeing your entrepreneurial dreams through a lens of fear, rather than opportunity.
Dismissive Pessimists: They might belittle your dreams, almost laughing at your ‘crazy plans’, dismissing them as impractical fantasies. Their negative outlook can seep into your mindset, causing you to devalue your ideas and underestimate their potential. Are you being crazy? Maybe it is just a fantasy? Perhaps you do need to live ‘in the real world’. The result? You might feel disheartened, questioning the worth of your dreams, which could stop you in your tracks and send you back to thinking that the employee way is the only way.
Jealous Cynics: These are people who really would love to do the same thing as you but don’t have your confidence, drive, self-belief or resilience and so are stuck where they are.
They often cloak their envy in harsh criticism, undermining your self-esteem and dragging you down from the edge of greatness. Their relentless negativity can stir feelings of inadequacy, leading you to question your worth and abilities. So much so that you might start believing their narrative, and start to lose your confidence and self-belief.
If you've experienced any of these reactions, it's important to know that you're not at fault. It's natural to be influenced by the opinions of others - our society often values consensus, and our brains are wired to seek approval. However, ask yourself, should the opinions of naysayers dictate your dreams? Should their scepticism derail your journey?
What if you could change your perspective? What if you could transform these encounters with naysayers into empowering experiences?
Here are some ways you can flip the switch…
HONE YOUR INNER FILTER
Think of this inner filter as a sieve, sifting valuable insights from a stream of comments and discarding those that are unhelpful or merely negative without being constructive.
Having an effective inner filter involves developing a clear understanding of your vision, purpose and goals - in other words, what you want to do and why. This clarity will serve as your compass, guiding you in distinguishing between constructive criticism that helps you grow and undue negativity that hampers progress. Because, some advice can be just that advice from someone who cares, but other advice is criticism dressed up.
Sharpening your inner filter needs you to be self-aware and mindful. It involves really listening and taking in body language, facial expressions and tone of voice, to recognise the intent behind the feedback you receive. If it's meant to discourage, let it bounce off your filter. If it's meant to be constructive, allow it through to refine your business plans.
EMBRACE YOUR VISIONARY ROLE
As you are breaking away from the norm, and doing something for yourself, you are not like other people. You are a visionary. Being a visionary isn't merely a title, but a commitment to lead, innovate, and inspire. You're no longer working on pre-established directives; instead, you're creating a path for others to follow.
When you embody the role of visionary, you can listen to their advice or comments with a smile thank them for their view and then agree to disagree. All the while knowing inside that you have a totally different way of seeing the world and that is amazing.
POSITIVE INFLUENCES
When making the move to become your own boss and potentially change your way of life entirely, you have to be super careful about who and what you surround yourself with. The power of positivity cannot be overstated. So, it’s vital to ensure that you surround yourself with positive influences.
Positive influences come in different forms - from mentors and like-minded peers to coaches, inspirational books, podcasts, and communities. These influences form a support network that encourages your dreams, shares in your aspirations, and fuels your enthusiasm. They remind you of your abilities when doubts creep in and celebrate your victories, however small they may be.
It's like having a personal cheer squad, providing you with the resilience to deal with those situations and not let naysayers get to you or your plans.
LET CRITICISM FUEL YOUR SUCCESS
Often, it's tempting to think about criticism as an obstacle, a discouragement, something to be avoided at all costs. However, by changing your perspective, you can transform criticism into a powerful tool for growth.
After you use your inner filter to analyse the criticism you receive, to separate constructive feedback from baseless negativity, then you use the negativity to motivate you. Each critique should inspire you to improve, to refine, and to strive harder. To show that naysayer that they are 100% wrong and you will prove it.
Ultimately, criticism can be your secret weapon, a source of power. Used wisely, it can help you speed up your plans and work that much harder, just to see their faces when you talk of your success!
ART OF SUBJECT SWITCHING
This will quickly get you out of discussing your business plans with someone you know will not understand, quickly and with grace and style. Often, you'll find yourself in social situations where it’s natural to ask questions about your work and life and you know that you’ll have to deal with them.
In such situations, mastering the art of changing the subject is an effective tactic to protect yourself and your temper from unwanted negativity.
This doesn't involve avoiding meaningful discussions or evading constructive criticism. Rather, it's a strategic move to steer away from unproductive negativity that serves no particular purpose but to dampen your morale.
But how can you do this subtly and effectively? First, it's about recognising the conversation's direction. Once you identify that it's veering towards negativity, use a relevant diversion. This could be a remark on a current event, a question about a different topic, or sharing an interesting piece of information. The key is to be smooth and casual about it, ensuring the transition feels natural.
The more you practice conversation switching, the better you'll get, and you'll soon find that these transitions become second nature. In essence, this is a defensive technique, a protective shield against the barrage of naysayer's arrows. It's a way to preserve your positivity, stay focused on your entrepreneurial dream, and ensure that your conversations remain pleasant and uplifting.
THE BOTTOM LINE IS…
You will invariably cross paths with naysayers. It's essential to remember that dealing with them is an unavoidable part of this journey, a rite of passage in your transformation from an employee to a trailblazer.
Getting annoyed or defensive only drains your energy and shifts your focus away from your goals. Instead, arm yourself with the tools of resilience, positivity, and a clear vision.
You are more powerful than the chorus of naysayers, and your dreams are worth every effort, every challenge and every victory along the way.
Keep dreaming, keep striving, and keep succeeding!
