APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | AMAZON
Episode #113
Here’s the short version. To listen to the full episode with more stories, examples and insights, click or tap the play button above!
In Apollo 13, Ed Harris playing Gene Kranz, then NASA’s Director of Flight Operations, famously says “Failure is not an option”. In that context, it really wasn’t an option, as failure meant everyone in the spacecraft would die!
But it is rare that failure isn’t an option. In fact, failure is not just an option, often it’s a necessity and is the secret sauce to accelerate business success.
Because failure is more than just a stumbling block or the end of something. Failure is the best learning tool out there. You can read hundreds of books, take courses and be given advice forever, but until you have experienced something you can’t actually know really what it’s all about.
Imagine what it would be like not to be scared of failure, to start every project hopeful of success but prepared to fail. And to know what you could gain from that failure is worth more than what is lost. You would be confident to throw yourself into testing and trying new things, instead of being scared to get started because you might fail and what that could negatively mean for you.
UNDERSTANDING THE FEAR OF FAILURE
From my experience, typically I see the fear of failure manifest in three significant ways:
- The Trap of Inaction: This is where the fear of failure causes people to choose to stay right where they are, deciding not to take any step at all towards changing their lives. They think it’s better to remain where they are rather than risk everything and end up in a worse situation. This inaction means they miss out on opportunities, and their life stays the same, except for the gnawing feeling of dissatisfaction, of dreams unfulfilled, and the weight of ‘what could have been’ which grows and grows.
- The Comfort Zone Trap: Another result of fear of failure is playing small. Taking baby steps, never venturing too far out of what’s familiar. But this approach means that growth is slow or sometimes non-existent.
- One-timer Trap: They do ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ but are not prepared for the consequences! They go all out to achieve something but then when it does not work out they are crushed and give up. This can mean a pattern of starts and stops as they try different things, that never lead to sustained momentum or success. And instead leads to feeling worthless, questioning their capabilities, and a growing fear of any future projects.
Now, if you resonate with any of these, or perhaps all of them, understand this – you're not alone. And more importantly, it's not entirely your fault. Society often paints failure with brushes of shame and embarrassment. We're conditioned to perceive failures as end-points, not as part of the journey.
Ask yourself this: If you could approach every venture with the resilience of a child, unafraid of failing and eager to learn, where could you be a year from now? How much could you have learned, grown and achieved?
REFRAMING YOUR INTERNAL NARRATIVE
We often underestimate the power of our thoughts, yet they have a huge ability to shape our reality. Our internal narratives – the stories we constantly tell ourselves – act as self-fulfilling prophecies.
This extends to how we think of failure. If we tell ourselves that failure is a bad thing, if things don’t go completely right it is a waste of time or a complete disaster. Then we will dread it happening. And if you do fail you will feel all the disappointment that comes with it, because you believe failure is a negative thing. But if you change the narrative that although it would be great to succeed, failure is also a win, if you fail you are ready to use it to your advantage.
So, how do we go about changing this deeply ingrained narrative, especially about something as formidable as the fear of failure?
- Awareness: The first step is to become conscious of these automatic reactions, understanding they're shortcuts our brain has formed based on societal norms and past experiences. By acknowledging these patterns, we can begin to challenge and alter them.
- Tell yourself a different story: Start telling yourself Positive affirmations can act as powerful tools to rewire our brain. Phrases like "Every failure is a stepping stone to success," or "With every mistake, I learn and grow," when repeated daily, can start to change our intrinsic beliefs about failure.
- Plan what you want to learn in advance: Plan for what you want to learn from a project, whether you succeed or fail. Rather than being solely result-oriented, be process-oriented. This way, even if the outcome isn’t favourable, the process becomes a learning experience.
- Surround Yourself with Resilient Role Models: Whether it’s through books, podcasts, or personal interactions, expose yourself to stories of those who have faced failures and bounced back. There are many to hear about in the entrepreneur world.
- Celebrate your action: Whether you reach the goal you wanted for a project or not, you should always celebrate that you tried. That you went for it. When setting up a business, there will be many things you will try and fail at but make sure to celebrate it in some way. It can be something big. Because just by trying you have succeeded, you have done more by taking that step than any of those people who dream of being their own boss but don’t quite have the courage or resilience to make it happen.
THE BOTTOM LINE IS…
Every step you take, even if it leads to an unexpected fall, is a part of the business start-up journey.
People who hold back from their dreams due to the dread of failure, or who are demoralised by a singular setback, are the ones who never taste true success.
Consider failure not as a disappointment but as a tutor. It educates us in ways success cannot. Only by embracing and learning from failure can you genuinely refine your craft and inch closer to your aspirations.
