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I’ve no time, I’m too busy, I’m too old, I have too many responsibilities, I’m exhausted, I can’t afford it, I won’t be able to make enough money working with my passion, I have no energy, I’m not good enough, I’ve too much to lose.
What excuse(s) do you tell yourself to explain why you can’t leave your corporate job and move to your dream career or business?
Excuses hold you back from doing what you want to do. Excuses make you feel better about not taking a chance. You wrap yourself up in excuses because then you don’t have to do the work, and take the chance, to actually make your dream happen.
The hugely successful entrepreneur Marie Forleo says that e you say you ‘can’t’ do something, you should change it to ‘won’t’. As admitting that you won’t do something gives you all the power and makes you honest. Saying you “won’t” do something means you don’t want to, you don’t want to make the sacrifice or put in the effort, you don’t want it badly enough, or you’re not willing to prioritise it.
On the other hand, saying you “can’t” do something makes you a victim of your circumstances. It says you have no control of your time, energy or choices and makes you seem like you aren’t responsible for your actions, even though you are. It also allows you to hide behind the excuse and not admit to the fear of what will happen if you do go for what you want.
So, if you just won’t do something, or don’t want to do it, then own it! Say I would like to have that new career and the life it would bring, but I just don’t want to put in the effort that it will take to do it, or I don’t want to upset my life, or I don’t want to risk what I have, even though I would love what the change would bring. At least then you are making a decision and not blaming it on something or someone else!
Marie Forleo is a great example of how to stop using excuses, overcome setbacks and change your life.. So do check out her book ‘Everything Is Figureoutable, where she tells her story. As you can tell from the title, she believes that every problem has a solution! And I have to agree with her. I’ll put a link to the book in the show notes for this episode.
YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT TO SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE
One thing you have to remember is that people always think that their lives are different from others, that what's holding them back is so much harder to overcome than it is for other people. They say things like, ‘it’s ok for them to change careers or open their dream business because they have more money than me, or they don’t have children, or they don’t have all my responsibilities, or they are so much more talented than me or they don’t have so much to lose.
We always think our problems are worse, to excuse ourselves from not taking the action that others have.
I can guarantee you that successful people, including career changers, also have problems, they have things holding them back, they have families and money worries and responsibilities, often you just don’t know what they have had to face to get where they are now. You only see the glossy success storynot the behind the scenes struggles.
And yes maybe some people have more of an advantage, but they are the minority, most successful people don’t have a superpower, or golden ticket or free ride to making their success happen. So, what makes the difference, what makes them able to cut through the challenges that face them?
They stop making excuses.
They are willing to try to find a solution to the challenges that face them
And they change their mindset and inner self talk from ‘I can’t or I won’t’, to ‘I can or I will’
WHAT EXCUSES DO YOU MAKE?
Now, one of the biggest excuses I hear is that you have no time. There’s a saying that you may have heard that is something along the lines of, we all have the same 24 hours as Beyonce, so if she can be so successful so can we.
Many people have laughed at it because they say Beyonce will have an army of helpers and supporters that allow her to get the things done that she has. Yes, we have the same time but not the same resources. So it is not a fair comparison.
However, I think they miss the point. What the saying means is that we all have the same 24 hours in a day. The difference between your life and mine; is really about what we choose to do with those minutes we have. We can waste them, give excuses why we can’t use them to our advantage or we can use them wisely to become the best we can be.
It is not an accident that Beyonce has had the stellar success she has had. She makes the best of what she has, out of her own circumstances and takes the opportunities when they come up. Compared to other female singers she has been 'stand out' successful, she is walking her own path.
Yes, you may have more challenges than others and will have to work harder than them to get past them but don’t let them stop you from being what you were meant to be. Wherever you start from.
So don’t compare yourself to those others, because A) you don't know what they have had to face and b) you are unique, you have your skills and talents that might far outweigh theirs. You need to focus on what you are capable of, what you want out of life and how you want to do it.
Another excuse that I've seen people use is ‘I have children. Now full disclosure I don’t have children but a lot of my friends do and I have seen the amount of work they create and the time they can take up, as well as bringing lots of joy of course! Also, I know how much you want to keep them secure and not risk their future. I think you parents are superstars in what you achieve particularly when you have a full-on job too.
But, let me ask you this, do you think that all successful people are childless? Absolutely not! Is it that people that are parents don’t go for their dreams or make their passions into a career, so not true! I know a lot of successful people who have done just that!
What reasons are you giving yourself or others about why you haven't started your career change journey?
Are they really legitimate reasons? Is there nothing you can do to overcome them?
Be honest with yourself..are they actually just excuses that you can decide to stop making?
IT'S YOUR CHOICE
It really is your choice. You have to choose to find the time. You have to choose to forego some things you enjoy while you work towards your dream. You have to choose to take the chance. You have to choose to work towards something you really want, even if it's just a small step at a time.
That is the only way you can have the career and life you were born for.
THE BOTTOM LINE IS...
I know it’s hard to stop making excuses, I made lots of excuses too, but you have to switch your mindset from ‘can’t or won’t’ to ‘can and will’.
Let’s face it, it will never be the perfect time, you will always have other responsibilities, and you will always have other things to deal with, so you need to start finding solutions to the challenges you have and stop blaming them for your lack of action.
To make the career and life you want to happen, you need to take control of your life, don’t let your excuses control you! You deserve better.
Links mentioned in this episode
Marie Forleo's book ‘Everything Is Figureoutable’
Beyonce reference https://www.huffpost.com/entry/you-have-the-same-24-hour_b_8040198
