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Episode #60
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Do you have a one-day dream? A dream that you have always wanted to make happen but have thought, maybe not yet, I’ll do it ‘one day’ when I’m more ready, or when I have more knowledge or experience, or when I’m older, or when the children have left home or when I have more money or when I have more time, or maybe only when I retire. And you tell yourself ‘I will know when I’m ready”.
WHAT I HAVE LEARNED THROUGH EXPERIENCE
You will never feel ready. Whether your one-day dream is to travel the world as a photographer or to buy a beach house in Antigua or to become a freelance writer, or to do up an old chateau to open as a hotel or maybe you yearn to open that tea room/book shop hybrid where dogs are always welcome and there is plenty of cake on the menu, I can tell you that you will never feel ready. This is always going to be something you need to realise. But I promise you, you are ready but you just won’t feel like it. But sometimes you have to take a leap of faith, believe and trust in yourself.
You will never have more time.
Time is funny that if you don’t save space, it disappears, sucked into the time vacuum. Unless you make space for this one-day dream to happen from what time you already have, it will always be filled with other things. You won’t find suddenly that you have hours and hours come available all on their own. You have to find them.
You will never have enough money to quit unless you plan for it. Like time, money will be spent unless you save it. But unless you know what and when you are saving it for it will be difficult to build up. Saving for just a fluffy, unplanned one-day dream really is not going to cut it. You need to be specific about exactly what you want to do and how and when you will do it, so you can resist wasting money when you could be saving towards it.
You already have enough knowledge or experience. Or if you don’t you can learn what you need to know and find a way to gain experience while you are planning your escape from your day job. Most people underestimate their talents and how much they need to know to start working for themselves. But even if your business is something specialised and you don’t yet have what's needed, then start learning! It will not stop you from making the decision to start go for your dream. Part of your escape plan will be to learn what you need on the way.
You are not too young or too old, there is no perfect time for pursuing your one-day goal. All ages have pros and cons, but if you want it, you can make it a reality. There are successful entrepreneurs and freelance creatives in their 20s right up to their 90s, with 42 being the average age.
If you are unhappy, frustrated, unfulfilled or just plain bored with your day job now and you have something you have always said you wanted to do ‘one day’, what are you waiting for? If you want to do it one day, then why not do it today? Don’t wait for health or other scares to happen to you to trigger your decision to go for something you really want. Or it may end up being too late.
THE DECISION
It’s actually not that complicated. It’s a mindset shift. You need to get your head around something being a concept you may or may not do at some point, to something you are doing, right now.
It all comes down to one decision...
Are you committed to leaving your day job soon to make your ‘one-day’ dream of having your own ideal business happen - Yes or No
You are not thinking about how or what or when. This is only deciding if you will start planning your transition from the employee life or if you are staying where you are.
If your decision is an excited yes! then this is day one for you. You can start diving into exactly when and how you will do it. You have freed yourself from decision paralysis and can move forward. You are going to make this happen soon. Just because you are saying yes, it does not mean that you resign tomorrow. Saying yes means you are committing to yourself, promising yourself that you will leave your day job, and you will have that business and lifestyle you yearn for within 2 years. I say 2 years because that is how long it took for me to plan and execute my leap from corporate, it could take less or a bit more, but it’s a realistic time period to aim for.
If it’s a firm no or even ‘no for now’, then perhaps you should take that dream off your metaphorical one-day shelf and put it in the bin. Because if you decide not to go for it now, what do you think is going to change in the future? If it’s good enough to do one day why not now? I’m not saying you don't need to put yourself in a good position to make the transition, but putting that much time between your present struggles and the life you want is punishing yourself unnecessarily in my view.
So If you decide it’s a no, it's better to give yourself permission to forget about it and then you can move on free from the constant questioning of yourself and can start to work out how to make your 'employee life' better or accept it is what it is and it will never be what fulfils you, and so focus on your personal life as the main source of fulfilment and happiness, which is perfectly fine and what a lot of people in the world are happy doing.
LISTEN TO YOUR GUT
I know that making this decision is a big deal, and one you need to put a lot of thought into. But you can do all the self-reflection and research, you can discuss it with friends and family, and you can look at it from 100 different angles, but ultimately, when you weigh up all the pros and cons and potential outcomes, you need to decide and that often can come down to, listening to your gut.
Your intuition or gut instinct is a powerful thing. Your brain and gut are connected, with the gut sometimes being called your second brain. So it’s natural that you will feel it when your brain is telling you to go in a particular direction, even if consciously you can’t make the decision. Something just feels right or wrong, and although it should not be used as the only measure, when you are trying to decide on something important and the answer is not clear, sometimes it's only that gut instinct which makes the difference.
Your first reaction does not lie, your body will tell you what to do, you just need to trust your instincts. Sometimes you just ‘know’ what's right.
DECIDE AND MOVE ON
Once you have decided, you should not look back to second guess and don’t let others do that either. Obviously, if you have a spouse or partner, you would discuss your decision and maybe even work through the decision-making process together. But the ultimate decision has to be yours.
Making this decision is freeing, whatever way you go it allows you to release yourself from the mental torment of not knowing. So many people stick at this point for years. Umming and ahhing over whether it’s the right thing or not, thinking that they should stay where they are when they are praised or they get their bonus, and then desperate to leave when yet again their idea was stolen or they have to put in 70 hours in a week. It’s exhausting not being happy in your work but then constantly having uncertainty about what's next swirling around your brain is not much fun either. Making this decision can bring you peace and calmness of mind.
Even if you celebrate the milestone and toast your new future with friends (which I totally recommend by the way!) nothing will outwardly actually change in that moment. You are still the same person, no one is going to kick you out of your job or drag you off to business school right now. But inside, mentally, making the decision gives you clarity, it gives you motivation and you feel like a weight has lifted and a light has come on.
THE BOTTOM LINE IS…
Are you really going to let your dream business and life stay in the ‘one-day’ box or the one-day shelf, only to be looked at when you want to cheer yourself up and think about what could maybe happen in the future if you keep slogging away for years, paying your dues and earning your right to one day have the life you really want?
Or do you want that one day to be today? Do you want today to be day one of your journey to make those plans you have been putting off a reality, not in 10, 20, 30 or even 40 years time but now, or in the near future? It’s not going to happen unless you make the decision to go for it, no matter what it takes. There is no magic genie who is going to come and grant your wishes. Only you can decide and only you can take action to make the dream a reality.
Every day you spend in a job that is not right for you, is a day you could be spending in your dream business and building your ideal life. Life is precious, so don’t waste a day of it.
