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Episode #79
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Every year at this time I like to reflect on the past 12 months before doing my planning for the year ahead. Remember, the best predictor of future performance is past performance! Meaning that you are most likely going to perform in the same way again, over and over, unless you break the cycle and the only way to do that is to reflect on what you have done and make a change if needed.
I have a 5 step method I use to help me review everything. I find the method really good for dealing with regrets but also for reminding myself that things also went well. If this is something you would like to do, then check out Episode 31 ‘The One Thing You Must Do Before Celebrating The New Year’ where I take you through each step in detail.
IMPORTANCE OF GRATITUDE
The one thing I’m focussing on this year, in particular, is practising gratitude. Being grateful and thankful for the people in my life and the experiences I’ve had this year. Let’s face it, we could all be a bit more grateful for what we already have. When you aspire for more and have ambitions in life, it can be easy to fall into the trap of dissatisfaction with the here and now, because you don't have everything you want yet.
Just because one part of your life is not great doesn’t mean you haven’t got lots of other things in your life to be grateful for. And it’s those things that will sustain you as you work towards your escape from your day job.
According to Harvard Medical school “In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”
So, gratitude and being thankful is a way to remain happy and content, while still aspiring for your goals, but it is easier said than done! I know sometimes it can be hard to find anything to be grateful for. Particularly if you are not where you want to be in your life and you are frustrated with your lack of progress or setbacks. It can sometimes feel that everything is against you, but really what you need is a change of perspective.
A CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE
Every year it's traditional in my family to watch It’s a Wonderful Life. Whatever mood I’m in, it never fails to get me thinking about what I’m grateful for in my life and leaves me with a warm and fuzzy feeling as I think about my own loved ones and what I already have in life.
I have to say though I do feel George Bailey (the central character). He had big dreams and passions he wanted to pursue but always put others first and sacrificed his own goals to make sure that others succeeded. We don’t know what happened after the end of the movie but I secretly hope he was able eventually to travel to Europe like he wanted or maybe he did get to build exciting buildings at some point!
Just because he learned to appreciate what he had, that he had already made a huge impact in the world and was rich with the love of friends and family does not mean he stopped having dreams and ambitions. What he did gain was perspective, so he wasn’t looking back on his life with regret anymore. He had done a huge amount in his life already whatever the future may hold.
GEORGE BAILEY TECHNIQUE
If you want to find a way to be grateful for the situations, events and people that have populated the last year for you, you need to try the George Bailey technique. (Yes, it's a thing!) But, it isn’t what you think it would be. I thought it would be imagining you had not been born, as George experienced, but it isn’t that. The idea of this technique is to help to feel grateful for the people around you or situations you have been in or things you have done in the past. Many of us find it all too easy to take positive aspects of our life for granted, particularly as time goes on. This practice helps the counter this tendency and helps us gain a greater appreciation for the good things in our lives.
So if you are thinking right now, “I have nothing to be grateful for this year”, try this method out…
- First, take a moment and reflect on one person, opportunity or experience in your life this year that brings you happiness or joy.
- Then think back to when and under what circumstances this good thing first entered your life.
- Next, think about all the various ways in which this personal experience might never have come into your life in the first place.
- Then imagine what your life would be like today if it had not been for this good fortune and had this person an opportunity not entered your life. Reflect on the joys and the feelings of happiness. Connect to that source of gratitude and how this will be missing from your life if it were absent.
- Finally, bring yourself back to the here and now and remind yourself that this person, opportunity or experience is in fact part of your life. Allow yourself to feel a deep sense of thankfulness and gratitude for their presence, and take a moment to savour how this life is better because of it.
So now you give it a go. You will be surprised about how abundant you actually are in your life!
THE BOTTOM LINE IS…
All of our experiences in life whether they are good or bad make us who we are. They have meaning and we either can appreciate and celebrate those that are bad or learn from those that have not gone to plan. They are never a waste. But it is important to be grateful for what we do have. By doing this you can go into next year happy and mentally healthier and ready to make it the best year yet!
As mentioned in this episode:
Episode 31: The One Thing You Must Do Before Celebrating The New Year
