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Episode #94
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Episode 94 - podcast
Many of my clients come to me because they long to leave their day jobs, but just can't get started on making the change they need to. They talk a lot about escaping and doing something new, but actually don't make much progress,
Or they've begun to make the transition out of their careers, but are not that excited about the path they've chosen. It's just not motivating or inspiring enough, or perhaps they have a plan in place, but get derailed every time. Some challenge comes up in their work or home life, and they feel like throwing in the towel and letting the naysayers win.
Does any of that sound familiar?
I always tell them this because at least in part, they're holding themselves back because they can't think beyond the rules of the employee world that they've been part of for so long.
This makes them think too small or they don't go for what they really want, what their heart is really telling them. In order to live a passion-fueled life, they have to stop playing by the rules. So that when they can walk out of the office for that last time, finally free to call the shots in their own life, they're exhilarated and motivated about their next chapter because it's so much bigger and better than what they've left behind.
But because they're afraid of going against the herd, standing out and being the one that everyone talks about, they can't decide or sick an idea that is not what they really want, which means that there's nothing to inspire them or push them to make their new business happen. They stay stuck in their golden cage, getting more and more disengaged and frustrated with themselves for not moving on fast enough.
WHAT ARE THE ‘RULES’
Before we go any further, what do I mean by the rules? Well, I'm talking about those things that they or society say you have to follow in your life. Mostly these are unwritten rules and no one quite knows where they come from, but they hold powerful sway over many of us.
Did you do things because you wanted to or because it was expected of you by family, friends, or society? Did you even stop to think or did you just blindly follow the crowd?
If you didn’t, I'm not blaming you. Following the rules is what we're conditioned to do from birth, from the earliest teachings of our parents, through the school rules, into offices and ‘that’s how things are done around here’.
You're also taught there'll be a penalty or punishment for not following the rules, which in some cases, of course, there needs to be. Some rules are definitely needed for order and safety and punishment if necessary, without rules, society would fall into anarchy.
But let me tell you this, if you break societal norms, there is no punishment. You're not gonna be struck by lightning or burned at the stake. Apart from other people's opinions, nothing's gonna happen if you decide to live your life differently from everyone else.
So let's look at three mindset shifts needed to become a rule breaker and discover the optimal path for you to achieve the ideal working life and your personal life.
Stop worrying about what other people think. I know that is easier said than done, but you are not going to get anywhere through this if you don't, don't control this worry.
So what you need to do is think 'so what' if they think you're crazy or selfish? You know what you're doing is right for you. Let me share this with you. People don't really care. People are inherently selfish and although they may say something at that moment, they move on with their lives and forget exactly what they said. All the while you are sitting there stewing and thinking it over in your head, over and over again, and worrying about what they think of.
Here’s a tip to help you in circumstances when people are saying things about what you're doing. Prepare a phrase or two in advance that you can use when someone else has an opinion about what you're planning.
By having a few phrases to hand, you can deal with any question you get without having to waffle along, trying to justify yourself.
What you are doing is normal. And what you want is normal. Rule-breaking is normal. There are a lot of people who want to do different things, and you just have to go into the entrepreneur community to see this. But when you're in the employee world, it just feels like you're some alien creature. Everyone around you seems to be happy with the status quo, working towards the company goals, the vision, et cetera, and you are just not feeling it anymore. You are not odd. You're just in the wrong place.
It is normal to want to have more. You're not selfish and you are not foolish. Whenever you start to doubt yourself or feel like you're alone in this, I want you to jump into entrepreneur Facebook groups or listen to entrepreneur podcasts or YouTube channels. You'll hear from a whole bunch of amazing people, which are breaking the rules all the time in some way to make a difference in the world, create a life they want or just do something they are passionate about.
Open your mind to possibilities. You need to look beyond what you know It's like being in prison or being in the army. You're used to the rules. You used the ways of working, you get how it works, you know what all you know like the back of your hand, and it's a certain way of working. Outside of that, there is so much more that you can do. So what I mean about keeping your mind open to possibilities is, is that you can think beyond what you've been doing in your job for however long.
There's nothing wrong about doing something to relate to your job in your business. If that's what you're passionate about, go for it. But if you don't love what you do, and it is part of the reason why you wanted to leave your job in the first. Don't be afraid to look beyond that, to look at other passions or talents that you have, and explore those as potential businesses as well.
If your job was one of the reasons you wanted to escape your job in the first place. It's not going to change that frustration, you’ll just transfer it to your business. So to ensure it long-term success of your business, you need to base it on something you have a passion for.
The tip I'm going to give you here to help you get a rule-breaker mindset is to explore what being an entrepreneur is, Join groups, read books, listen to podcasts, and go to seminars and conferences.
Learn all about the adventurous people that are out there, who've done things as their own boss, who've travelled the world writing, or who've decided to set up a business in France or Spain or America. Those people that have gone and done things and, and trailblazed ahead of.
Because even if you don't wanna do quite that, it will just show you that it's not just about moving from having your job to having a business and keeping everything else the same. If you want to do that, great. But now you have the freedom of your own business and can do so much more in life. So make it count!
THE BOTTOM LINE IS…
To really escape the nine-to-five and become your own boss, you need to shift your mindset to that of a rule breaker.
Then you're not going to care as much about other people.
You'll know that what you dream about and what you want in life is normal.
There are other people like you doing it already
And you will think big outside of the confines of the employee rules and design the life you really want rather than what society said you should have.
>>FREE COURSE<< If you're feeling stuck and uncertain about what to do next in your working life, be sure to check out my free course "How to Decide Your Next Move." I guide you through the simple steps you need to take to get crystal clear on what you will do next in life, beyond the 9 to 5.
