APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | AMAZON | YOUTUBE
Becoming Boss: Episode #132
Here’s the short version. To listen to the full episode with more stories, examples and insights, click or tap the play button above! Or watch over on YouTube.
You know that moment when you decide to go ‘all in’ on something, and your worst fears are realised?! Like showing up to a fancy dress party in full-on glitter, wings, and feathers—only to realise everyone else is wearing jeans and a T-shirt. You’re stuck in the doorway, frozen, wondering if you should make a run for it. Yep, that was me!
Fear, in all its forms, can do strange things to us. It can make us hesitate, hold back, or retreat when there is absolutely no reason to. It can be really mean! But what if I told you that fear doesn’t have to be in charge? What if you could take that fear and use it as fuel to create the life you really want?
Fear: Friend or Foe?
Fear is fascinating. It’s hardwired into our brains to protect us from danger. Back in the day, it helped our ancestors stay alive. But today, we’re not running from lions. Instead, our fears tend to centre around things like failing, being judged, or taking a risk that could shake up our lives.
The problem is, fear doesn’t always know when to stay quiet. It jumps in even when we’re not in real danger—like when we’re about to make a big life change. Fear of failure, rejection, the unknown... it all shows up. And if we’re not careful, it can keep us stuck.
There are some common fears we all face when thinking about major life changes: rejection, failure, the unknown, losing control, not being good enough and being judged
Sound familiar? These fears can feel like heavy chains, keeping us tied to a life that’s safe but unfulfilling.
Taking Control of Fear
So, how do we flip the script and stop fear from being the boss of us? Here are a few strategies that can help:
- Recognise and Face Your Fear
The first step is to name your fear and face it head-on. Often, we hide behind excuses—"I’m too busy," "I don’t have the skills"—but these are just ways of avoiding what we’re really afraid of.
Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Write it down. Really look at those fears. Once you’ve got them on paper, challenge each one. If you think you’ll fail because you don’t have the skills, ask yourself: Can I learn those skills? Can I adapt what I already know?
This is about taking control. When you plan for the worst, you take the power away from fear.
- Flip the Fear
What if, instead of focusing on everything that could go wrong, you asked yourself: What if it goes right? What if you succeed?
Take a moment to visualise yourself winning. Imagine what your life would look like if your fears didn’t come true. By focusing on the possibility of success, you shift your mindset. You start to believe that good things can happen.
- Take Small Actions
Fear thrives on inaction. The longer you sit with it, the bigger it grows. But when you start moving—no matter how small the step—fear loses its grip.
Start with one small action. Make a phone call, send an email, or research that thing you’ve been too scared to dive into. Every little step forward reduces fear’s power.
- Don’t Let Fear Make Your Decisions
Fear is always going to be there—it’s a natural part of being human. But it doesn’t need to be the one calling the shots. Author Monica Berg said it best: “Fear is not an option.” You’re the one who decides what happens next, not your fear.
What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?
Here’s something to think about: What would your life look like if you weren’t afraid? What opportunities are you missing out on because fear has kept you playing small?
The truth is, everyone who’s achieved something great has faced fear. But they didn’t let it stop them. They took action, and you can too.
The Bottom Line is…
Fear Isn’t the Boss of You! Fear is natural, yes, but it doesn’t have to control your life. Recognise it, understand it, and then move forward despite it. You’ve got the power to change your story, to step into the life you’ve always wanted.
You’re in charge, not fear. You’ve got this.
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Adam Smith’s book The Bravest You: 5 Steps to Fight Your Biggest Fears, Find Your Passion and Unlock Your Extraordinary Life
Monica Berg’s book Fear Is Not an Option
Brian Tracy’s book The Power of Self-Confidence: Become Unstoppable, Irresistible, and Unafraid in Every Area of Your Life
What happens in our brains when we feel fear: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/what-happens-brain-feel-fear-180966992/
