What are you afraid of? If you want to stop fears holding over you, so that you can move forward with your career change plans, then this episode is for you!
In the second of this Halloween we ‘ll be talking about the nature of fear and how it can hold us back
and I’ll be sharing how you can overcome your fears, particularly the fear of failure, with a powerful four step process.
Grab your favourite notebook and pen for this one, as you’ll want to write a lot down!
Links mentioned in this episode:
Tony Robbins https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mind-meaning/how-to-use-fear/
Adam Smith’s book The Bravest You: 5 Steps to Fight Your Biggest Fears, Find Your Passion and Unlock Your Extraordinary Life
Monica Berg’s book Fear Is Not an Option
Brian Tracy’s book The Power of Self-Confidence: Become Unstoppable, Irresistible, and Unafraid in Every Area of Your Life
What happens in our brains when we feel fear: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/what-happens-brain-feel-fear-180966992/
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Fear is a strange thing. It springs into action when we are in genuine danger which is great. It is there to protect us and does a great job doing just that but it often goes overboard and shows up when we don’t need to be afraid at all. Fear can be so irrational!
It’s a primitive and instinctual process and happens without conscious thought. It was essential for us as humans as we were evolving as we needed to know whether to stay and fight or to flee. When fleeing was needed we would not have the chance to think about whether I should run away from that scary lion, so the process was made automatic.
In simple terms, when we sense some kind of danger (physical or mental), the brain reacts instantly, sending signals that activate the nervous system. This causes physical responses, such as a faster heartbeat, rapid breathing, and an increase in blood pressure. Blood pumps to muscle groups to prepare the body for physical action (such as running or fighting). Skin sweats to keep the body cool. Some people might notice sensations in the stomach, head, chest, legs, or hands.
Fear can be mild, medium, or intense, depending on the situation and the person, as we all fear different things to varying degrees. And ultimately these responses are all to get us ready for fight or flight. To face what you fear or run from it.
Let’s think about fear in the context of career change. This is a different type of fear, there is no immediate danger right in front of you, but a thought of what could or might happen, based on your own knowledge and belief system. When you have a fear of something that might happen, like messing up an interview or failing an exam, the symptoms will be more subtle but the results are the same; it can paralyse you for a while and then either send you into retreat causing you to give up on your plans and dreams for a new career path, or can power you into taking action.
What are your fears about your career change?
Adam Smith, in his book “The Bravest You: 5 Steps to Fight Your Biggest Fears, Find Your Passion and Unlock Your Extraordinary Life,” lists the biggest fears holding you back from success. Eight of which could be applied to making a career leap. They are Fear of Rejection, Fear of Change, Fear of losing control, Fear of the unknown, Fear of inadequacy (in other words, not being skilled enough) Fear of being judged and the big one Fear of Failure.
Do any of these resonate with you, do you feel one, two or maybe all of them when you think about going for that career you have dreamed of?
So if fear is automatic, how do we overcome it? Thankfully reason and control can overcome fear.
I’m going to share with you four powerful steps to tame those primitive responses that are programmed into us.
The first is to recognise it and accept it for what it is. You can sometimes use other excuses to mask that real deep down fear. Like you don’t have the time, or are too young or old, or have come too far in your career to change now, or using others and their needs as a reason. Now I’m not saying that these reasons are not valid, but in most cases they can be overcome by planning, help and support from others. But you never get very far because deep down you are afraid that if you make the change, you will in some way fail and all those other fears will be realised. Accept that fear of failure as real and natural.
Then face the fear and plan for the worst... you need to delve into and break down your fear. This is hard to do but can be really reassuring in the long run. I’m going to take fear of failure as an example as that is the most common fear for those .
Grab a notebook and write down why you think you will fail, spill all your reasons out onto that page. Then go through those thoughts one by one and break them down and challenge yourself. For example..if you write ‘I haven't got the knowledge or skills for the career I want to move to’ ask yourself what skills you need, have you got similar skills that can be adapted, do you have the ability to learn what you need to know.
Next, write down what you think the result of that failure would be. What will happen if you fail and all the related fears that brings. The worse case scenario, For example, you may think if I fail, I will lose my job and have no income, I will lose my house and will be out on the street, everyone will laugh at me, I will have no security, I’ll have to get any job just to make ends meet, I’ll be on benefits, I’ll be ashamed and my family will be ashamed of me. Put all your thoughts down whether they are rational or not.
Finally, for every potential result of failure, think of how you could make sure it does not happen. Forget about things you have no control over like what people think, and focus on those things that you can plan for.
Taking the example of the idea you could lose your home and security, you could do things likes :
- make sure you still have a route back to your current career,
- save up a pot of money so that you can survive for 6 months should things not work out, immediately
- maybe keep consulting in your current career to make sure you income is topped up
- Or starting your new career on the side of your main job until you are more sure of your success in that field.
By facing the worst that can happen and planning, how you can mitigate against it, allows you to take control back from fear. It also helps weed out what are rational fears from those that are irrational. Psychologists writing in an article in the Smithsonian magazine say that ‘ When we are able to recognize what is and isn’t a real threat, we are ultimately at a place where we feel in control. That perception of control is vital to how we experience and respond to fear’
Now take all that you have written, and put it in a physical or online folder so you know you have a plan should you need it, but it is not there for you to see and put you off track.
The next step is to Flip the Fear … What I mean by this is rather than focussing on the possibility of failing, think about what would happen when you succeed. How would you feel? What would you be doing? Where would you be living? What would it mean to your partner or children if you have any, or other family members? Write down what that would look like for you. To overcome a fear you need to create a vision and goal that is stronger than the fear. That will pull you away from that fear.
The stronger and more detailed the vision the better. Keep that vision where you can see it everyday. That is what will keep you motivated, focussed and clear on exactly why you are being daring and going for this career change.
The final step is ….taking action!! That can seem counter intuitive as fear an sometimes paralyse you. But even small amounts of action can break that freeze, just doing one thing can help you push past that fear.
Earl Miller the cognitive specialist and neuroscience professor at MIT, found that humans cannot focus on more than one thing at a time. So if you follow that finding through, fear can’t fully live at the same time as action. It’s only when you stop that fear kicks in again. Think of when you are waiting to go into an interview, you sit outside thinking about what you could be asked, fearing being judged, fearing the unknown, fearing inadequacy, fearing rejection. Your heart may be beating a bit faster, your mouth may be dry and your stomach knotted. Then as soon as you are in the room and the first question has been asked that fear recedes. It may not be completely gone but it is not in charge because your brain is fully engaged in action, in answering the questions to the best of your ability.
As I mentioned earlier, fear can be overcome by reason. You just have to break the automatic cycle of the fear flight or fight reaction long enough to move into the part of your brain that allows you to reason. To realise that our fear may be irrational and to make a decision not to accept it.
Author and speaker Monica Berg explains in her new book, Fear Is Not an Option,that Nothing happens in our lives until we decide. She explains that once you decide fear isn’t an option, you are left with only the choice to change—to shift your consciousness, or to take action. She asks you to think about it this way: What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
In the same vein, Brian Tracy’s book The Power of Self-Confidence: Become Unstoppable, Irresistible, and Unafraid in Every Area of Your Life he asks you to ask yourself the question “What would I do differently if I were absolutely guaranteed of success in any undertaking?” Only then can you be sure of what you really want, free from the restraints of fear.
But what if your fear of failure is realised? Sometimes, no matter how much you plan or work towards something it does not work out. Successful, self help guru Tony Robbins said ‘You will fail. It’s just part of the process. Any successful person will tell you that. Failure provides insights and inherently corrects the faulty ways of approaching a problem. There is no teacher as impactful as the sting of failure and no lesson in resilience better than the burn of rejection. If you use these experiences as unique information, and adjust your strategy and approach the next time around, you will have an advantage that no one else does’.
So understand the level of risk going in, prepare for what could potentially happen and weigh up how much you want to achieve your vision and against that potential failure. Know that whatever happens you are growing in knowledge and experience and at worst will return to your old career path and at best will have the career and life you desire. In between those extremes, you may just need to make a few adjustments, try something different and learn from your experience to ultimately achieve success in your new career path.
What seems like a failure at first glance can actually lead to success. I have seen people time and time again get despondent about what they see as failing at an interview for their dream job, then a few weeks later go for and achieve a job that was even better using the knowledge and experience that had gained in the previous interview process.
The bottom line is most fear of failure is ultimately irrational, because even if there is evidence, data or statistics that show the worst could happen, the actual result is unknown, just a list of if, but's or maybe’s. What you do know for sure is how you feel now in your career, why you no longer know its right for you and that you also have all your skills, knowledge and experience to date. The rest will unfold when you start taking that action and making the change happen.
When you are at that doorway to your new career and life, will you let your fear of failure make you turn, run and hide, or will you step into the room with confidence, self belief and determination, ready to face whatever is to come? The choice is yours
Join me in the next episode and remember, everyone deserves to live their passion, so get started this is your time!
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