What gift have you got yourself? Seriously, you go to all the effort of finding the perfect jumper for your uncle or the latest designer perfume for your best friend, or the sought after toy for your toddler niece; even the pets get a look in with gift stockings and toys for your fur babies!
What about you? What kind of love are you showing for yourself if the cat comes before you?! Yes, other people will get you gifts (you may even get one from your cat!) but will they be what you want or more importantly what you need?
In this episode, I'm sharing some gift ideas for what you could give yourself, that not only are free but also will have a positive impact on your life throughout the holidays and well into 2022.
So grab a notebook and pen and get ready to jot them down as this is a Seasonal list full of goodies you will want to know about!
Links in this episode
Benefits of Meditation study - https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-018-32046-5
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I truly believe that after all the thought and time you put into shopping for others, getting a little gift just for you should be your own personal tradition, a little token to yourself to celebrate what you’ve achieved during the year. When you open it on Christmas day, you can take a moment to reflect on what you’ve learned, how far you’ve come, and how proud you feel.
It doesn’t have to be expensive (although feel free to go for it if you can!) just something that makes you feel good and is purely for your benefit, no one else's! That said the very best gifts you can give yourself cannot be wrapped, are 100% free, are hugely impactful and will last far longer than a bath bomb!
So, here are my ideas for the perfect gifts to give yourself this year…
The first is the Gift of Time - This is such a precious gift and can be the hardest to find. There are two types of time you can gift yourself. The first is ‘me time’, to promise yourself that you will carve out an amount of time just for you each week. This time is the ultimate gift of self care. Often we put ourselves last when in fact we should be first. You need to remember that self-care isn’t selfish. If you are rested and recharged you will be much more fun to be around, of greater help to others and far more able to deal with everything you need to juggle.
I know this will not be easy as we all have such busy lives, but even 10 mins a day can make a difference. This time will give you headspace to think about your future and what you want, to appreciate what you have or even just to enjoy just ‘being’ for a moment. Do whatever allows your mind to clear and ease, whether it’s listening to music, going for a walk or run, meditation, gardening, snuggling with your dog or cat or taking a bath, whatever you enjoy as long as it does not feel like work and it allows your mind to be free from the daily planning and and constant whirl of thoughts. I like to either go for a walk either listening to music or in silence, or sometimes I find time first thing in the morning as the sun is coming up, to curl up on my sofa with a steaming hot mug of coffee and just gaze out the window and let my thoughts drift.
You could use this time to meditate or practice mindfulness if that is something you are interested in. The Headspace or Calm apps can be great for this and what is ideal is that they offer timed meditations so you can set a specific amount of time aside. In a 2017 independent study it was found that practicing mindfulness meditation for 10 minutes a day improves concentration and the ability to keep information active in one's mind, a function known as "working memory". The brain achieves this by becoming more efficient, literally requiring fewer brain resources to do these tasks.
Other benefits of mindfulness include stress reduction and increasing self awareness and creativity. All that for 10 mins a day, a pretty good trade off! If you struggle finding time to yourself in your day, try and find some alongside the activities you already have. That could be deciding to walk for part of your commute or before you log in at home, go out for a short walk around the block and make believe it's your commute to your home office. Or actually taking a lunch break and taking some time to yourself without getting involved with household chores or office chat. Another option is to copy me and get up 10 mins early and grab a coffee and just sit for 10 mins enjoying the peace. Ideally you will have more than 10 mins in a day, half an hour a day would be ideal with a bit longer once a week, but start small and see what you can manage.
The second type of Gift of Time you could give yourself is being ‘in the moment’, appreciating the time you have. By that I mean when you spend time with your friends or loved ones you are present and listening and engaging with them. Not thinking about what you need to do or where you should be or what's next on your list that day or that week. But really enjoy those precious moments you spend with others. Now more than ever we know how precious every moment is, if we took it for granted in the past, we know now that time with others is not a given. That it can be taken away and it really is something that should be appreciated. I’m not saying that to bring doom and gloom or to scare you, but just to remind you that nothing should be taken for granted.
Especially over the holiday period, if you can be with your loved ones, make the most of it. By all means take photos and message friends on the day or have video chats with those who can’t be there, but then put the phone or tablet away so you can’t see those notifications flash up, and enjoy the time with people who are there with you.
Then make a commitment to cherishing all the time you have with your family and friends in the year ahead. Keep that mantra in your head whenever you start worrying or thinking about other things while you are with them.., ‘I’m going to be in the moment’.
Giving yourself the gift of time, is the gift that keeps on giving!
The next gift you could choose is the Gift of Peace of Mind - This one can be life changing, I’m not kidding, I’ve seen it happen. Peace of mind can really only come about through having a more positive mindset. That does not mean that you have to be jumping around like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh always being super positive! Not only would that be exhausting for you, particularly if you are not naturally a positive person and have to fake it!, but also would be a bit much for others. This gift is to remind yourself to not automatically think about the worst that could happen in a particular situation, and instead focus on it all working out for the best.
This gift can be challenging at first, but like any habit, the more you practice it the more it comes naturally. So when you find yourself thinking or saying ‘I probably won’t get that job, or I bet it will rain’ or knowing me it will all be a disaster, check yourself and change your negative self talk to ‘i have just a good a chance of anyone of getting that job’ or ‘ I know the forecast is not that great but I bet there will be a window of sunshine at the right moment, or ‘This is all going to work out, I can feel it!’
Yes, even if you are positive about how something will turn out , sometimes things may not work out well but being negative in advance will not help you if that happens.
There is a school of thought that if you are negative in your thoughts it's not so disappointing when the bad thing happens. I call BS on that! I am always just as upset whether I thought something was going to happen or not! But by being positive in your thoughts and words in advance, you save yourself all that time worrying before the outcome is known, and even if there is something difficult to deal with you can worry about that then and not before. Saving yourself stress and pressure over something that probably will most likely not happen. How many times have you thought negatively about something and then it all worked out and you think, why was I so worried or all that stress for nothing!
It doesn’t mean that you bury your head in the sand. Make sure you prepare for all eventualities but then really believe that it will all work out. I always go by the old adage ‘prepare for the worst, but expect the best’.
The gift of peace of mind also follows through to how to deal with things when they don’t work out. If you find yourself in a situation where your plans or hopes have gone up in smoke. Rather than fall to pieces, try and think that there is probably a reason why what you wanted did not happen as you wanted it to. Like you may have wanted to get a particular job but are turned down after an interview, which at the time was awful, but later you find out the company was in trouble and you had a narrow escape, or you are offered something much better a few weeks later which you would have missed out on. So there was no point feeling negative about yourself and worrying. I find this happening time after time with myself and others who I have worked with. You worry about something and then it comes true, but it later turns out to be a blessing.
So give yourself the peace of mind that comes with having a more positive and optimistic attitude.
The next gift you could give yourself is the Gift of Kindness - This means being kind to yourself.
We put all our efforts into being kind to others around us, forgiving them for their mistakes and giving them confidence and supporting their dreams but we forget to be kind to ourselves particularly when it comes to our physical appearance and behaviours.
Put negativity and self criticism aside and think about all the things you love about yourself, Commit to stop only seeing your physical and behavioural faults, and tell yourself kind things about that amazing body and mind of yours and all that it does for you every day.
Another way to be kind to yourself is to appreciate all you have achieved, what you have done well and how far you have come in life. On a daily basis you should remind yourself not only what you are grateful for but what you have done to make things happen. I was reminded of this recently as I looked back on my journal entries for 2021 and realised how many of them were about what I had not done or things that have not worked out as planned, and were very light on my achievements. In 2022, I’m going to make a commitment to include more of the good things and be kinder to myself!
Instead of being hard on yourself for past mistakes, you need to recognise the lessons you’ve learned from all your choices both good and bad. You can acknowledge that you did your best with the situation as you knew it and made the choices you felt were best. Those choices do not define you, they were a moment in time. As you would forgive a friend, you need to forgive yourself and let go of any guilt or embarrassment you may feel, and start again with a blank page.
Be your own best friend and treat yourself with the kindness you would show to your nearest and dearest. That is a fantastic gift to yourself!
Finally, and I think most importantly, you could give yourself the Gift of Chance. In other words, the permission to go for what you want in life, to make opportunities for yourself and take the chance to make your dreams reality. By giving your desires the merit they deserve and going after them wholeheartedly without fear you are giving yourself the most precious gift. For you to have a fulfilling and meaningful life you have to dare to take opportunities when they come up, and you can only do that if you are looking for them and you give yourself the chance to take them.
You don’t have to physically do anything for this gift but open your mind to the possibility that you can change your path. It’s not too late, or too early. You do have the ability and talent. There is no obstacle you cannot overcome, even if it will take some time. Your self belief and willingness to take that chance is hugely powerful.
When I decided to give myself the chance of a new career direction where I could live my passion and better use my talents, it not only enhanced my working life but also transformed my life overall and has given me the freedom, purpose and fulfilment I know you are looking for!.
So if you only give yourself one gift this holiday season, give yourself the gift of chance, as it’s the one that will ultimately have the biggest long term impact.
The Bottom Line is...any of these gifts would be a wonderful addition to your virtual stocking this year. Whether you decide to choose one or all of them, or have something even better in mind, I hope it enhances your life over the holiday period and into 2022.
Join me in the next episode and remember, everyone deserves to live their passion, so get started this is your time!
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